The Message Said
by Emerald707
Summary: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James, to Remus. The problem? It holds a confession of Sirius' slightly-less-than-platonic feelings for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. :SLASH: RLSB
1. Chp 1: Did I say Love?

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**The Message Said**

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**Summery; In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James, to Remus. The problem with this? The message holds Sirus' confession of love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter not owned my me.**

**A/N: Hey, I know I'm currently writing my long fic 'Siriusly Misunderstood' But I got this idea, and decided to do a little 3 or 4 chapter fic on the side. I promise I shall still update regularly on both stories! So anyways, I hope you enjoy the first chapter of this little one, should be very angsty.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 1:**

**Did I Say Love? I Meant Indifference.**

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'_I think you should tell him.'_ James' slanted writing read, as it popped up on Sirius' notebook pages. 

Sirius moaned in annoyance, _'We are not talking about this again.'_ He wrote back, whispering James' name quietly as he finished.

As the text disappeared from Sirius' page, he reflected again on how wonderful an invention the enchanted quills they had were. They had invented them in third year, with the help of all the Marauders, creating a quill which; when you write something on your page of paper, you simply whisper the name of the person you want it sent to, and the message disappears only to reappear on the paper in front of them at the time (or the last piece of parchment they used) and they can read the message. They had used the quills ever since as a brilliant way to sneak messages to each other during classes, after getting caught passing notes one too many times.

As James looked down on his page, in the right corner of the parchment, the last message from Sirius disappeared and the new message reappeared. James snickered.

'_Oh yes, we are talking about this again! You have to tell him.'_ James wrote, whispering Sirius' name.

Sirius grunted, bemused, from his position two seats away from James, with Remus in the middle of them, and Peter on James' left, as was their usual seats in History of Magic.

'_I do not have to tell him, he never even has to know.' _Sirius scrawled onto the page, looking every bit as though he were taking notes, as was the beauty of the enchanted quills.

He heard James scoff a few seconds later as the message reappeared on his notebook.

'_Rubbish. Stop being a prat and tell him! It's not like he would reject you or anything.'_ The new text read.

Sirius stared at the last message for a few minutes. For that was exactly what he was afraid of; _rejection._ Sirius was not rejected often, but if he was to be rejected by this person, he was not sure he could handle it.

Sirius turned his head and looked at Remus, who sat next to him and was probably the only one _actually_ taking notes on the class.

Sirius had always admired Remus for his unique beauty. Although many would say that boys could never be called 'beautiful', there was simply no other word to describe Remus. With his longish auburn hair, that just fell into his eyes (and in the most adorable way); his pallad, cream coloured skin; and his startling amber and gold-flecked eyes. To Sirius, Remus was the most beautiful creature alive.

But he could never hope to tell Remus that.

'_How do you know?'_ Sirius wrote back, whispering "James.".

James was the only one that knew of Sirius' more-than-platonic love for Remus, as he had told him in the summer of last year, when he was staying at James' house. James had been supportive ever since, remembering how he had felt before Lily had fallen in love with him, he understood Sirius' pain.

'_I just know.'_ James wrote back simply, saying "Sirius." louder this time, both to the parchment and to get Sirius' attention.

Sirius looked up from his page and his eyes' met James', who had a very serious look on his face, imploring him. Sirius sighed.

'_I just can't James._' He wrote back, whispering his name to get the conversation back to the silence of the pages, then continued before James could argue,_ 'I'm afraid he won't feel the same.'_

James was almost reeling with frustration, _'What's the worst that can happen anyway?'_ He wrote,_ 'Even if he doesn't feel the same, which I'm sure he does, he would never be horrible about it towards you! **Especially** because its you! He cares about you, Padfoot.'_

Sirius was also getting defensive by now, _'He could get angry! Or tell me we can't be friends anymore! What if he's disgusted by me?'_ Sirius wrote sadly.

James frowned. They both knew that Remus wasn't like that.

_'You_ _Git, the most he would ever say is; "Oh, I'm sorry, Pads. I don't like you that way, but lets still be friends." And then you'd be exactly where you are now! Except then you would know you had at least** tried**!'_ James wrote back in a furious flourish, trying to convince his friend with logic. This time Sirius heard James whisper his name in an erratic breath, obviously angry at him.

'_Goddamn it Prongs!' _Sirius wrote, then followed by;_ 'No, I will not tell Moony that I love him!'_

"Sirius?" Remus asked Sirius, interrupting him.

"Yes, Remus?" Sirius asked as he looked up from his book, his anger immediately dispersing as he gazed into Remus' soothing amber orbs.

"I-" Remus started, but was cut off by the teacher announcing;

"Class dismissed!"

Peter jumped up, "Lunch time!" He yelled with excitement, to the laughter of many classmates.

"Never mind." Remus relinquished shyly, and slipped out of the class ahead of him.

Sirius shrugged and turned back to his parchment, only to see the text was gone. Had he already whispered James' name? He didn't remember doing that...

Then, with a dread that hit his heart like a racing broomstick, remembered the one name he had said, and whose notebook his message must be written in.

Remus.

'_Oh shit.' _He thought.

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**A/N: So, what did you think? Good so far? A nice start? Well, it will really improve in the next chapter, I assure you. **

**Until the next chap, which will be very soon indeed if I get lots of reviews.**

**Much love,**

**-Emerald Elf-Slytherin707-**


	2. Chp 2: Mission

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**The Message Said**

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**Summery; In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: I applogise that I took so long to update. And I am especially sorry to those of my reviewers that are awaiting the new chapter of 'Siriusly Misunderstood', I am in the makings of chapter 8, but am finding it hard with all my current schoolwork. Its overwhelming!**

**But I shall try. For you. The readers.**

**Anyways, enjoy the fic!**

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**Chapter 2: Mission 'Retrieve Remus' Notebook'**

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Sirius hurriedly closed the door behind him, and sighed wearily. 

Every other occupant of Gryffindor Tower was currently in the common room, studying and socialising, as were his own dorm mates sitting around the cozy fireplace, Remus no doubt reading an old tome of some description, and James and Peter playing Wizard Snap.

Why is Sirius not down there with them, I hear you say? Why is he not joining the usual teenage splendor of absolute laziness?

Because he has a mission to complete.

Sirius looked shiftily around the room, although he was already certain it was empty, before launching himself at Remus' bed. Landing next to it, be began searching underneath and around it for Remus' bag.

Eventually, he found it, shoved right into the corner next to Remus' bedstand.

"Aha!" Sirius cried triumphantly, sitting on Remus' bed as he attacked the bag with valor, opening every pocket and unzipping every zipper, and generally messing it up more than was really necessary, until he came apon his prize.

The notebook lay in Sirius' hand, innocently enough, but Sirius alone knew the deep, dark secret hidden within. Well, perhaps not dark, but it was certainly deep!

Sirius opened the cover, and began to slowly turn each page of Remus' notes, as though afraid it would fall to pieces in his hands.

Taking care to keep all the loose pages at the front of the book from falling out and unveiling his intrusion, he eventually found the dastardly page he had been searching for. Up in the corner of the page, written in his own hand, it read; '_No, I will not tell Moony that I love him!'_

The words hit him with such clarity, that a profound fear enveloped him. He vowed right then, that no matter what, Remus would not read this.

He quickly attempted to tear out the page, but it would not budge. Sirius looked at in surprise, before using his own wand to scan it for magic.

A sealing charm.

'_Bloody hell, Remus!'_ Sirius thought frustratedly, and dropped his wand distastefully, as though it had betrayed him._ 'You have to make this difficult don't you?'_

The page would not come off, unless it was Remus who tore it. And there was no way Sirius' was going to be able to get Remus to tear out a page of his own notebook, without Sirius having to explain why.

Sirius grumpily sulked, frowning with concentration as he thought of what he could do now.

'_I know!'_ Sirius gleefully conceded, as he picked up his wand again.

"_Aparecium!_" He said triumphantly at the page, expecting the text to disappear as quickly as it had appeared that very morning. But alas, much to his dismay, nothing happened.

Sirius' face fell. His own slanting text glared at him mockingly, unwavering on the page.

"_AP-ARE-CI-UM_!" He said louder, slower, as though the message didn't understand his command. Again, nothing moved.

"Oh bloody hell!" Sirius yelled suddenly, and stood up, kicking the nearest object, which happened to be a very heavy potions textbook.

"OW!" He hollered, jumping around on one foot, and just barely keeping a hold of the notebook. He cursed under his breath as he kneeled down to rub his foot.

What was he supposed to do now? How was he to extract the text from Remus' notebook, without Remus finding out about the message? How was he to get the message back at all?

"Sirius?" A quite voice interrupted Sirius' inner monologue, his hand seized rubbing his foot, and he stayed crouched over, his back to the door, stock still.

He recognised that voice all too well, it reverberated in his mind long after conversations, and sung to him in his dreams. Remus.

And boy, was he in trouble now.

His eyes flashed to the notebook in his other hand, currently holding it in front of his chest, and out of Remus' eyesight.

He quickly formulated a plan.

He stood up, slowly, carefully keeping the book hidden, and did not turn around as he replied, "Oh, hello there, Remus."

Remus arched an eyebrow,_ 'What's with him?'_ He wondered, as the taller boy kept his back to him. He took the moment to notice that Sirius was standing rather closely to his own bed.

Remus looked back at Sirius, who, curiously, hadn't made to move yet. He took a step closer to him, "What are ya' doin' Padfoot?" He asked conversationally, "Up here all by yourself?"

Sirius slowly made his way, always with at least half his back to Remus, and sat on his own bed, next to Remus'.

Oblivious to Remus, Sirius slyly slipped the notebook onto the ground, with barely a sound at all, and kicked it under his bed, to be immediately hidden by the clothes and other assorted goods underneath.

He then turned to face Remus with his casual grin, "Nothin' really. Just hangin' about." He replied, stretching to accommodate his bed, his arms behind his head in a relaxed manner.

Remus looked skeptical. Padfoot was acting strangely... And he knew from experience that that _never_ led to anything good or proper.

"Alright." He said easily, "I just heard a lot of noise is all, you were yelling about something... Thought I'd make sure you're OK." He smiled warmly at the dark-haired boy.

Sirius' stomach did a somersault.

'_Damn Remus and his unyielding compassion!'_ Sirius cursed as he melted under Remus' gaze.

Remus walked over to Sirius' bed and Sirius shifted over for him as he sat down.

"You are OK, aren't you?" Remus asked with concern in his voice. Sirius knew to what he was referring to.

Only a month before, as the new term came, Sirius had run away from home. He had finally had it with his family, the emotional abuse and constant rivalry between he and his brother, and not to mention the prejudice against anything that wasn't as 'noble' as a Black! No. Sirius couldn't live with that anymore. Of course, his friends had been nothing but supportive, but they worried he was taking it too hard.

Sirius met Remus' eyes steadily, and for a moment, watched as they sparkled with unguarded concern. Sirius loved when Remus was like this, so open. The moments were few and far between.

"I'm OK." He said, smiling only slightly. One of the rare occurrences where Sirius was, actually serious.

Remus smiled back, and then chose to stand up, breaking the moment.

"Good, because the last thing we need is you to go all _girly_ on us." Remus said jokingly, and grinned at Sirius mischievously to emphasis that he didn't really mean it.

Sirius appreciated him more than usual in that moment.

"Anyway, have you seen my notebook? I can't remember what I did with it."

Sirius almost choked, but managed to compose himself before he replied; "Er, nope, haven't seen it.", and continuing with; "Try looking in your bag." Before he even thought about what he was saying, and immediately cursed himself.

Remus then went to his own bed and looked at his bag, which had all of its compartments open, in total disarray. He mused that it looked as if a hoard of pixies had played tug-of-war with it.

Remus looked back at Sirius with a raised eyebrow in questioning. Sirius only smiled innocently.

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**A/N: I know this wasn't very eventful, but something crucial actually did happen in this chap! And anyways, I felt the need to create some background. **

**Reviews make me update all the quicker!**

**Love,**

**-Emerald-**


	3. Chp 3: The Missing Essay

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The Message Said

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Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. 

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: Ah, here you are my loyal reviewers, another chapter. Some angst in this one, I'm afraid! And more to come! But all the same, some minimal fluff and the such.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

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**Chapter 3:**

**The Missing Essay**

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Remus was running around frantically, mumbling to himself incoherently, and searching every inch of the common room for something.

Sirius saw all of this as he came down from the dorm room that bright Friday morning, and watched with sleepy interest at his friend doing rounds of the room. He walked up to James instead, who stood by, packing his bag for classes that day.

Sirius yawned, and slapped James on the back in greeting, "Heya Jamsie, what's up with Remus?"

James shrugged, "Dunno. Been runnin' round like that all morning."

Sirius raised an eyebrow and turned to look at his friend again, just as Remus himself came up to him, shifty-eyed, and asked him nervously; "Sirius! Have you seen my notebook?"

Sirius felt himself pale, "Er..."

"Please, _please _tell me you have!" Remus pleaded.

Sirius felt immediately guilty for taking it, but knew he couldn't go back now. What was he to do anyway? Say; 'Oh yes! Here you are Moony, I seem to have found your notebook hidden carefully under my bed, I wonder how it got there. Oh, and do ignore that message in the corner of that page there, would you?' Ah yes, that would go down well.

"Sorry, Moony," Sirius said apologetically, and he truly was, "what did you need it for anyway?" He asked as his curiosity got the better of him.

"Oh... Oh, just an essay I have due today... It was in my notebook... And now it's gone missing." Remus looked truly upset.

"Does... Does it really matter?" Sirius asked gently, "After all, you do so well at all your subjects, is it really all that important if you don't turn in _one_ essay?"

Remus gawked at him "Are you _insane?_" He asked, as though he really believed it, "I can't not hand in an essay!"

Sirius thought deeply for a minute.

"Maybe you can rewrite your essay before class!" Sirius proclaimed suddenly, "Yeah, I can help you write it! How about that?" He asked hopefully, as he tried to cheer Remus up.

Remus just shook his head sadly, "Sirius, class is in fifteen minutes. I don't think I could write another 3000 word essay on the Hagalaz rune in that short of time, even with your help."

"Oh." Sirius said shortly.

Just then the bell went for class.

As both boys made their way to the portrait door, Sirius tried to alleviate his own feeling of guilt._ 'Ah well, you win some, you lose some.'_ He told himself, _'Remus will get over it come report-card time.'

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Sirius didn't see Remus for the rest of the day, but come night time, when Remus didn't show up for dinner with James or Peter, Sirius became worried.

Sirius left dinner early, telling his fellow Marauders that he wasn't all that hungry, and went back to Gryffindor Tower to see if Remus was there.

When Sirius went into the dorms, there he found Remus, sitting on his bed, and appearing for all he was worth as if he hadn't just been crying.

"Oh, hello Sirius." He tried pleasantly.

"Remmie?" Sirius asked in a voice strange to even his ears, as his tone sang with deep concern, "Are you all right?"

Remus wiped his eyes and nodded, with a pathetic attempt at a smile.

Sirius sat next to him on his bed, and immediately felt Remus latch onto him, hugging his taller friend fiercely.

Sirius wrapped his arms around him tightly as he felt the thin boy shake in his arms, and held him protectively.

"What happened Rem?" He asked in a soft tone, rubbing Remus' back soothingly, trying to calm the boy.

Remus sniffed and lifted his head from Sirius' shoulder, "Oh... nothing. Just... You know that essay I couldn't find earlier today? The one in my notebook?" He asked him shakily.

Sirius felt that familiar weight on his chest increase, as he nodded silently.

Remus sniffed again, "Yeah, well, t-turns out... It was worth f-fifty percent of my grade... And since I didn't even hand anything in... I-I think I'm going to fail!" He sobbed, "Oh, and you should have seen the look on P-Professor Baldwin's face! He was so d-disappointed..."

Sirius felt himself weaken, _'Remus failed a subject... Because of me?'_ He felt disgusted with himself. If he hadn't been him at that moment, he would have beaten himself up for doing this to Remus!

"Oh, Remus..." Sirius said, at a loss for words.

Sirius' heart sank to his feat and his heartstrings were plucked mercilessly, as he looked apon his secret love in such unhappiness.

Then Remus pulled out of Sirius' arms, blushing, having apparently realised how they must have looked, and embarrassed over his behavior.

"It's ok, Sirius." He said suddenly, closing up again as he stood from the bed, brushing his clothes off to distract himself. "It's not like it's your fault. I should have been more careful with my things." He said stoically.

Sirius felt even worse then, that Remus felt he should close up to him, after all this _was_ in fact his fault! He just wanted Remus to be upset, and for him to be able to comfort him and make it all better! He hated when Remus became closed up.

"But, failing the grade seems a bit harsh doesn't it?" Sirius tried, "Maybe you should just talk to your teacher?"

Remus turned to him with a serious expression, "No, Sirius. I have to accept my responsibilities. If I hadn't been so careless with my work, I wouldn't be paying the price. That's that." He finished, not even waiting for a rebuttal from Sirius as he went to the bathroom to wash his face.

Sirius looked after him sadly, and made a resolution.

_'That's it.'_ He thought to himself determinedly, _'I can't let this happen to Remus because of my mistake. If he won't talk to his teacher, then I will.'_

He got off of Remus' bed then, and went over to his own, kneeling next to it, he looked underneath resolutely, at the hidden notebook.

'_Tomorrow, I will turn in Remus' essay for him, and explain to the teacher that it simply wasn't Remus' fault, that he deserves a good grade. And I'll get up early, and do it all before Remus' wakes up, so he'll never even know it was me.'_

Sirius nodded, satisfied with this plan.

Everything would work out in the end...

He hoped.

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**A/N: I hope this chapter was satisfying, I never know until the next day whether I did it badly. So do tell if it's craptastic in this one, and I shall change my pace!**

**Oh, btw, completly off topic here, but I have recently gotten into the anime show 'Naruto' if anyone here is also a fan of this show, then do tell me, and if you'd like, your welcome to join an RPG for Naruto which I now belong to that my brother and his friends have created, and it only has thirteen members so far since it's new, so come join if your interested!**

**Oh, and don't forget to leave a review on your way out! Thank you!**

**-Emerald-**


	4. Chp 4: Teachers, What Do They Know?

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The Message Said

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Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. 

**Disclaimer: Alas, Sirius and Remus do not belong to me. But the plot does! And I shall defend it with my life! emerald shakes imaginary sword at readers.**

**A/N: Not a terribly eventful chap, I'm afraid, but the next shall be! And this is in fact critical to the story, so it had to be done. Do enjoy it all the same, though, as there is some interesting conversation.**

**In this chap, Sirius talks to Remus' teacher. **

**A little fluff in this one too, if you squint really hard!**

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**Chapter 4: **

**Teachers. What Do They Know?**

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_'Ok, I think the coast is clear...'_ Sirius thought as he hoisted himself out of bed. 

5:30am his clock read beside him, Sirius sighed mournfully. It was simply not natural to be up so early of a Saturday.

_'Ah well,'_ Sirius thought, _'It's for Remus.' _

Sirius kneeled down next to his bed and retrieved Remus' 'missing' notebook, which was currently lying on one of Sirius' old, long-forgotten shirts.

Grabbing it, he stashed the notebook under the invisibility cloak he was temporarily borrowing from James, and made his way towards the dormitory door.

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Sirius walked along the hallways, checking the Marauders Map every few minutes, so that he didn't run into anyone that would be hard to slip by, and making sure he was going the right way to the quarters of Professor Baldwin. 

He found no trouble though, as he soon made it to the door of the Professor, notebook in hand, and eased off the invisibility cloak.

_'Ok, so I'll just... demand he give Remus a good grade!'_ Sirius grinned to himself.

He knocked rather forcefully on the door, and heard a small ruckus inside, before the door opened to reveal a sleep-worn Professor.

Professor Baldwin looked Sirius up and down as he stood in his doorway, leaning on the frame, and put on a disapproving frown that didn't suit his young face.

"Can I help you?" He asked pointedly.

"Yes," Sirius said confidently, "I am here to discuss the recent grading of one Mr. Remus Lupin." _'Hell yeah, that sounded good.'_ Sirius thought to himself, containing his expression.

The Professor looked at him tersely, "At," He looked at his wrist, "5:45 in the morning?"

Sirius' face dropped a bit at this, "Er, well, yes!" He declared.

The Professor stared at him for a moment longer, apparently in some kind of internal debate, before sighing and nodding his head, "Come on in then."

Sirius was a bit taken aback at first; he hadn't expected to be invited in.

_'Oh well,'_ Sirius shrugged mentally.

As he walked inside, Sirius immediately made for the couch in the center of the lounge area, and sat in a dignified position, his back as straight as a ruler, just like he had been taught growing up in the Black household, and the notebook placed obviously in his lap.

Professor Baldwin sat down in the armchair just across from where Sirius sat, muttering something sarcastic that sounded like 'Make yourself at home.'

Sirius cleared his throat, and began, "Yesterday, at around 4:00 p.m., you gave Mr. Remus Lupin a failed mark on an essay?"

The Professor nodded slowly, as though considering this.

"Which brought Mr. Remus Lupin's overall mark to a fail?"

Again, the Professor nodded slowly.

"You monster!" Sirius exclaimed, standing up and pointing an accusatory finger at the Professor.

"What?" The Professor asked, astounded, where does this kid get off?

"I gave him that mark because he didn't hand anything in! There was nothing to mark!"

"But did you even ask him _why_ there was nothing to mark?" Sirius asked him snidely.

The Professor sighed, this kid was really worked up, and he needed to approach the situation calmly. "No, it is not my duty to do so. He needed to hand it in, he didn't, and it doesn't matter anyway because he didn't supply an excuse as to why."

Sirius let his hand drop to his side and sat back down.

The teacher sighed, "Remus was my most promising student, undoubtedly my favorite. I was severely disappointed that he didn't even have anything to hand in. It's not like him."

Sirius dropped his head, suddenly feeling the guilt of the situation weigh him down.

"It's all my fault." He admitted, "Remus did a great essay! He just lost his notebook. Er, well, actually, I took his notebook, but I didn't know the essay was in it!"

Professor Baldwin raised an eyebrow at the boy.

Sirius looked in his lap, and tossed the notebook to the teacher.

"Here." he said.

Professor Baldwin caught the notebook clumsily but held it in his lap, and after looking at the young Mr. Black suspiciously for a moment, he cautiously opened it, at once coming upon the essay.

The Front page was clearly labelled _'The Hagalaz Rune, The Rune of Disruption'_. It was 11 pages long, and very obviously well done.

Professor Baldwin quickly went through and read it all, as Sirius sat on the couch, now watching him to see how he would react, what he would decide.

The Professor sighed at the end, as he turned the last page over, and looked at it for a moment, before smiling up at the boy on his couch.

"This is very good. Remus deserved an A." He said, and Sirius bit his lip.

"So you'll give it to him?" Sirius asked hopefully, suddenly feeling very helpless.

The Professor watched the boy for a moment, and then smiled again, "Of course."

Sirius let the breath go that he didn't even know he had been holding, and sighed loudly with relief, "Really?" He asked, ecstatic that this had worked, "Even though it's late?"

The teacher shrugged, "It wasn't really his fault, as you said," His eyes twinkled knowingly, reminiscent of Dumbledore, Sirius thought, "And you obviously feel very sorry about letting him get a bad grade. I think I can let it slide this time."

Sirius jumped up from the chair, as the other man stood up more slowly, and Sirius shook his hand profusely, very grateful.

"Thanks, Professor Baldwin."

The Professor nodded again, handing Sirius back the notebook, as Sirius made his way to the door.

"Oh, Mr. Black?"

Sirius turned back from the door, his hand on the knob.

"Just out of curiosity, Remus is after all still my favorite student," He smiled, "How long have you two been together?"

Sirius felt his heart stop for a minute.

"Wha- oh, no- we're- we're not... no!" Sirius said, shaking his head, suddenly very embarrassed.

The teacher looked surprised, "Oh! I am sorry." He said, smiling apologetically, "I just assumed... I always see you two together, and you've always seemed very close! And the way he talks about you sometimes... I am sorry. My mistake!" He said, waving it off.

Sirius stood for a moment longer in his doorway, not sure how to end this situation, before he suddenly opened the door and yelled a quick, "Good day, Professor Baldwin!" before shutting it behind himself and almost sprinting to get back to the dormitories.

Eventually he slowed to a walk as he neared the common room, and all the while as he walked, he played the scene over in his head, especially that last part of the conversation, all that Professor Baldwin has assumed...

In a way, Sirius had been overjoyed that someone had thought that... even if he knew it would never really happen.

In another more overriding sense though, he was terrified. If he had instead mentioned that to Remus... who knows what would have happened!

As the boy now made his way tiredly back to his bed, he decided he could do with a couple more hours of sleep, seeing as no one else would be up until at least 10, he could relax for a while.

As he collapsed on his bed, he felt a heightened appreciation for his soft sheets, as he didn't even bother to undress or pull the covers over himself, and he soon fell asleep to one thought resounding in his head.

_'Remus talks about me?'

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**A/N: There we are, hope you liked it. Even if Remus wasn't technically in it. But there will be lots of angst and the likes next chap! With Remus and Sirius interaction galore! You shall see.**

**All the same, I do appreaciate the encouragement of my faithful reviewers!**

**-Emerald-**


	5. Chp 5: The Secrets of the Notebook

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The Message Said

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**Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. **

**Disclaimer: ALL MINE. I dare you to sue me.**

**A/N: Now, in this chapter I must warn you that there is angst and sadness, and quite a bit of confusion. It is much more emotional than the previous chapters. But, once again, very necessary.**

**And so, I feel inclined to inform you that your emergency exits are, here -emerald points to backspace button-, here -points to 'X' close button-, and here -points to link to general Harry Potter Fanfiction-. **

**All right, got that? Ok.**

**On with the story.

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**Chapter 5: **

**The Secrets of The Notebook

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_'Ah... sunlight.'_ Remus thought as he woke up, grimacing at the sunlight which shown through the open space in the drapes around his bed.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily and yawning widely.

He turned to look at his watch on his bedside table.

It was almost 11. Everyone else would be down in the Great Hall for a late brunch already.

Remus opened his drapes, and swung his legs over the side of the bed, stretching his limbs, before finally standing up and making his way to the bathroom, grabbing a change of clothes.

When Remus exited, now dressed and ready to go, he was walking past his bed as he suddenly noticed that Sirius' bed was not in fact empty, as he had thought it would be.

Sirius himself lay rather haphazardly across the bed, no sheets covering him, his drapes open, and even more confusingly to the young werewolf, fully dressed. Complete with shoes.

Remus raised an eyebrow skeptically at the dark-haired boy, and went over to him, almost subconsciously, to inspect him.

His black hair was sprawled across his pillow, seeming silky and shiny in the glowing sunlight around him, and somehow managing to fall attractively around his face. His lips were slightly parted, making him seem _almost_ innocent. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm that Remus found himself watching avidly, and taking a step forward to hear his soft breathing.

Remus' hand went forward of its own accord, and carefully brushed some of the hair off of Sirius' forehead, feeling exactly how soft the ebony hair was, and lingering to brush his fingers lightly around the sleeping boy's neck.

He pulled his hand back then, though, wondering for a moment what had come over him...

Before his heart stopped at what he saw in Sirius' left hand.

There, clutched almost protectively under his arm...

Was Remus' notebook.

Remus' mind reeled.

This didn't make sense.

He quickly grabbed the notebook from Sirius and held it to his chest; he turned his back to Sirius, in a state of shock, as he stared at the book for a moment.

This was the notebook he had been searching for, the book he wrote all of his notes in, that had his essay in it, the reason he had failed...

All of a sudden, Remus was filled with anger.

"Remus?"

Remus heard a familiar voice ask. He did not turn around.

"Rem, are you ok?"

Remus felt tears well up in his eyes, _'Why did he do this?'_

Finally, Remus did turn around, to be met with the concerned eyes of Sirius Black, whose gaze lingered on Remus' own, until it dropped to the notebook Remus now held in his hands, and changed to a now shocked expression.

"Remus..." Sirius said in an apologetic tone, eyes wide, searching his mind frantically for the explanation he needed. His mind raced, he had forgotten to put the notebook away when he got back that morning.

"No!" Remus yelled at him suddenly, shaking, "Why did you do this?" He asked.

Sirius gaped, and for a moment, looking at his love in such despair, he forgot why he had done it. When he remembered though, a second later, it did him little good. He couldn't tell Remus why.

"I..." Was all Sirius could say.

Remus shook his head angrily, tears now spilling over his face. "Do you even care?" He asked, "That I was worried sick about finding this notebook? That I have _failed_ a subject because- because you stole it!"

Sirius was absolutely shell-shocked, he hadn't really expected this to be such a big deal, when he had first taken it, he hadn't known it would cause any trouble... he had assumed he would just take it for a while, remove the message, and give it back before Remus had even noticed it was gone.

_'But now look what I've done!'_

"Remus... I'm so sorry..." Sirius apologised weakly, feeling himself become upset at Remus being so distraught. He wanted to explain, to tell him it wasn't as bad as it seemed, that he had a reason, that Remus hadn't failed, that he had talked to his teacher... but the words caught in his throat.

"No." Remus said coldly again. "I can't believe you did this." He shook his head, not even looking at Sirius anymore.

"Rem..." Sirius was becoming desperate, and shakily he stammered, "I-I swear, I did it for a good reason! I didn't know you had an essay in there! I-I-" Sirius choked on his own words.

Remus just shook his head again, "You're selfish." He stated.

Sirius was quiet for a moment before he simply said again, more desperately, "I did it for a good reason..."

Remus closed his eyes tight as he felt more tears come, not bothering to wipe them away, as he said, almost emotionlessly, "I don't believe you."

Sirius stood up, desperate to touch the smaller boy, but not daring to, "Remus, please..."

Remus held his notebook even tighter to his chest, and took a step back from him.

"I always let you copy my notes," He said quietly, "and helped you with homework when you needed it. You had no reason to take my notebook. And yet, you did, when _I _needed it. And then you lied to me."

Remus looked up then, as though it had just dawned on him, he looked Sirius in the eye and whispered, in the saddest tone Sirius had ever heard, "You _lied_ to me, Sirius! You have never lied to me before."

Before Sirius had even known it, a tear rolled down his own cheek.

Remus never saw it though, as he had already turned his back on the taller boy, and was making his way towards the dormitory door.

Sirius walked past his bed in a rush then, sniffling in embarrassment, before calling out to Remus as the werewolf had his hand on the doorknob.

"So, does this mean we're not friends anymore?" He sounded too casual and indifferent to even his own ears.

Remus stood still, his back still to Sirius, his hand not moving from the doorknob, for what seemed an eternity.

Before all of a sudden, he opened the door and closed it quietly behind himself, not even answering.

Sirius stood in the same spot, staring after his friend for a long time after he had left, wondering were along the line everything had gone so wrong.

* * *

As Remus made his way outside of the castle, he leaned against a brick wall, and slid down it to sit on the ground, letting himself cry. 

He sobbed and sniffed, taking out a few tissues to blow his nose, all the while clutching his notebook like his life depended on it.

After a while, he stopped crying and just sat there, thinking of all that had just happened.

He was still astounded that Sirius had had his notebook the entire time, of all the people to have taken it! He had just assumed all this time that he had misplaced it somewhere.

And how could Sirius have let him blame himself? When it was he who had stolen it from him, and forced him to fail a grade! That alone would be hard to get over.

But the thing that really got Remus, was that he had offered no explanation as to why, and that he had even been lying about it this whole time!

Remus had always thought of Sirius as his best friend, out of all the Marauders... but now he wasn't so sure.

Remus closed his eyes as he remembered Sirius' last words to him... and almost wished he had said something, anything. Of course, even in his anger, he hadn't really ever though that he didn't want to be friends with Sirius. But he wasn't in any mood to say anything otherwise either.

Remus reasoned, though, that although he was so angry with Sirius for taking his notebook, for apparently no reason, making him fail a subject, and then lying about it, Sirius probably had no idea exactly why Remus was _so_ upset.

Remus looked in his lap at the notebook, this apparently innocent little notebook, which held so much more than one would think.

Remus opened it to its very last pages, ones that appeared unused, and took comfort in the fact that they were still blank, as he had left them, before muttering the incantation;

"_Aparecium_."

At the instruction, the pages suddenly filled with text, pages and pages of words in Remus' slanted handwriting, all pages... from Remus' Diary.

He had not intended to ever use the notebook for a diary, but one day in class, something eventful had happened that he couldn't wait to write in his actual diary that night, and had instead written it here.

Then it just became a force of habit, if ever in class Remus would get the urge to write an entry, he would just do it in the back of this notebook, in invisible ink.

The worst of it though, was that most of these entries... were about Sirius.

Remus has been nursing an infatuation for the boy for months now, and was rather ashamed to think of his best friend that way, and so had not mentioned it to anyone.

But in his diary, he told all.

He talked of how popular Sirius was, how many girlfriends he had had, how he looked, what he liked and disliked...

And on the last page, the page he had used the very last time he had seen this note book, in History of Magic, when he had been sitting next to Sirius himself, just last week, was written the fateful words...

_'I think I love him.'_

It was no wonder.

No wonder Remus had blown up like he did when he had found Sirius with the notebook... it held his confession of love to the boy.

* * *

**A/N: After everyone was so happy with that last chapter, telling me how sweet they thought Sirius was, I almost felt bad for dampening your spirits with this sad chap.**

**Almost, lol.**

**But all the same, it had to be done. Remus had to find out eventually, and the poor dear doesn't even know what Sirius has done for him yet.**

**Ah, so much angst and confusion.**

**Do review for me, and you shall find out in the next chapter how Remus will react to finding out he hasn't in fact failed, and perhaps Sirius did have a reason for taking the notebook after all...?**

**Much love,**

**-Emerald-**


	6. Chp 6: The Good Deed

* * *

**The Message Said**

* * *

**Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. **

**Disclaimer: Consider me disclaimed.**

**A/N: Now, now. I know that the last chapter was upsetting, but this one is much nicer. Although, in fact, Sirius is not technically in it (not really anyway) it is about Remus seeing his teacher. You will like it.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: The Good Deed**

* * *

As Remus was walking along the halls of the school early in the morning, he reflected once again on that fateful afternoon three days ago, when he and Sirius had had that fight. 

Ever since, they both seemed to be avoiding each other, not staying in the same room as each other, going to bed at different times so they wouldn't have to talk, and just generally try escape the other's presence.

The other Marauders had noticed the change too, and James had even stopped chasing Lily around for a few days to try and talk to them.

_"Moony, Pads really misses you! Really he does! He's just scared you hate him now. Why don't you just talk to him, eh? Sort things out?" _James had said, only last night, when Sirius had already retired.

Remus had thought about it, but he knew he couldn't be the one to stop the fight first. Not when all of this was really Sirius' fault. He was sick of being the lenient one. So he decided he would continue to ignore Sirius back, until Sirius chose to give him his reason (And it had better be damn good!) as to why.

Remus sighed. He hadn't even looked at the Notebook since the fight. His essay wasn't in there, and he supposed that somewhere along the line while Sirius had it, it had fallen out or something. It didn't matter anyway; it was too late to turn anything in.

As Remus continued to walk, he eventually looked at his watch and realised what time it was, and started instead to make his way towards his first class of the day.

He sighed. Ancient Runes.

He was probably going to get a mouthful from Professor Baldwin about the aforementioned essay. Just what he needed when he was already feeling depressed.

* * *

As he rounded the last corner, just arriving in the door as the bell went, he took his usual seat at the front right of the classroom, avoiding the teachers gaze. 

"All right, class, today we are going to have a look at the Wunjo Rune, the Rune of happy endings..."

All through the class, everything was normal, much to Remus' relief.

Although he knew that the teacher would never scold him in front of the other students, he had been afraid Professor Baldwin would treat him differently.

When the bell went though, just as Remus was finishing taking his notes, and all the other students had made it out the door already, eager for Lunch, Professor Baldwin muttered the words that would strike fear into the heart of any student:

"Mr. Lupin, I would like a word, please."

Remus swallowed nervously. _'Here it is...'_ He thought as he packed his things quickly into his bag, and made his was over to the teacher's desk, cautiously.

Professor Baldwin sat comfortably in his chair though, completely unimposing, leaning back and placing his hands in his lap, his expression light.

Remus kept his head down, looking rather intently at his feet, as he awaited the inevitable yellings of 'Disappointment!' and 'Unacceptable!'

They never came though, as the Professor continued to rock his chair backwards, leaning evenly, casually inspecting the ever-nervous Remus.

"Well," He finally began when Remus thought perhaps he was simply going to stare at him. "I had a very interesting conversation the other day."

Remus looked up, surprised. This wasn't at all how he imagined his teacher would start out with scolding him. It sounded more like the conversations they had occasionally in the Library.

"Er..." Remus said intelligently.

Professor Baldwin leaned forward, as though it were a secret he was in on, and told Remus with a raised eyebrow, "With Sirius Black."

Remus did looked surprised at that. _'Why on earth would Sirius do something like that? Professor Baldwin isn't even one of his teachers!'_ he wondered.

"Sirius Black, sir?"

The Professor chuckled lightly, and nodded his head.

"I didn't think you were aware."

Remus shook his head.

"Er... why would Sirius have a conversation with you, sir?" Remus asked, still half wondering if this would lead up to his essay.

"That's what made it so interesting!" He teacher said with mirth in his voice, "I don't teach him at all, so it was quite surprising when I found the infamous Sirius Black, the bane of any teacher's existence, at 5:45 in the morning, waiting on my doorstep!"

Then he did laugh, and Remus joined him quietly, although it only came out as a nervous laugh. He was still worried about what Sirius had done, he hadn't made things worse and driven his teacher insane now, had he?

"And so," His teacher continued, "You can imagine my face, when he told me that he was there to talk about you!"

Remus flushed red.

_'Oh, no, what has he done?'_ Remus periled.

"Yes," The teacher said, "I think his exact words were, 'I am here to discuss the recent grading of one Mr. Remus Lupin', quite the business man, is he not?" Professor Baldwin laughed again.

"He is, when he wants to be." Remus agreed, but in his mind he practically screamed, _'So **that's** what he was seeing my teacher about! He's probably got me kicked out of the class with his 'persuasion' skills!'_

Professor Baldwin nodded again, "He was quite concerned you know." He said, turning a serious look on his student.

"He was?" Remus squeaked before he could help himself.

"Oh yes," Professor Baldwin agreed, "He was there, as in turns out, trying to convince me not to fail you."

_'Sirius... was trying to help me?'_ Remus thought, _'After all that, he went to see my teacher, at ungodly hours of the morning, to convince him he can't fail me?'_

"He was telling me all about how it was his fault, and how I, as a teacher, had no right to fail you." At this the Professor raised an eyebrow humorously.

Remus blushed again. Yes, Sirius can be quite... opinionated.

"He even showed me your essay, all right there and neatly written, an impressive sight to behold indeed, all in some notebook of yours that he said he had... taken? For some reason or another?"

Remus nodded, still not quite comprehending. _'Sirius had even shown him the essay?'_

"Yes, he spent a good amount of time, it seems, making sure to convince me of your innocence in the matter."

Remus nodded once again, "Yes." He said quietly, surprised tone.

"And, well, needless to say," The teacher concluded, "He did a fine good job of it."

Professor Baldwin then handed Remus his essay, which he had taken out of the notebook using a charm of his own when Sirius had handed it to him.

Remus' face was wiped clean of any pressure then as he looked at the essay, clearly proclaiming at the top of the sheet, in large red ink;

_'A+'_.

"I'm proud of you, Remus."

Remus gaped at it.

"This is... unbelievable." He said, mesmerized with the page, and feeling an immense gratitude towards his teacher in that moment. He hadn't disappointed him after all!

He then looked up with slightly watery eyes, and willing himself not to cry in front of his teacher, but overcome with relief, he said joyously, "Thank you!"

The Professor laughed again, "You deserve it!" he said, "Although, I must say, it really is all thanks to your friend. If he hadn't of come to see me, I never would have known you had really done your work."

It was true, Remus decided. Sirius had really gone all out for him and fixed his grades for him.

Remus looked up again at his grinning teacher, and wore a smile of his own.

"Thank you, Professor Baldwin. I think I'm going to go and talk to Sirius now." He decided happily.

Professor Baldwin continued to smile, "That's great, Remus. You two have looked a little down lately; I think maybe it's time you talk again. You look lost without each other."

Remus turned around at that, "How did you...?"

The teacher's grin turned a bit smug as he replied, "It was obvious."

Remus shook his head, turning and leaving the classroom.

_'Nothing gets past him...'

* * *

_

As Remus made his way excitedly up to Gryffindor Tower, he thought happily that things didn't seem nearly as bad as they had before.

Sirius had done all that for him... went to see his teacher and got him the mark he deserved, letting him pass the class!

Sirius had really made some effort.

Which proves that Sirius really did care about Remus' feelings, and his marks, and had tried to make things right.

Now if only he knew why he had taken the notebook in the first place...

With a lighter heart, Remus finally made his way to the Portrait Hole, as the Fat Lady gave him entrance to the Common Room, and saw Sirius immediately, his back turned to Remus and currently talking to James.

Remus took a deep breath to steady his ever increasing pulse, and walked over to Sirius.

* * *

**A/N: See? Remus is willing to resolve things now, and Sirius misses him. It's all good.**

**In the next chap, Remus and Sirius fluffyness! Although actual Slash is yet to come...**

**And I will take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas! Because this is probabaly the last thing I will post before even the new year. So, happy holidays and great new year to you all! Whoop! 2007!**

**Do I even have to ask? You know you must Review. You are compelled, by the Gods of Slash Fafiction!**

**Much Love,**

**-Emerald-**


	7. Chp 7: My Deep, Dark, Dirty Secret

**The Message Said**

* * *

**Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. **

**Disclaimer: I could never be your woman.**

**A/N: In this chap, is the conversation between Sirius and Remus, in which Remus will confront Sirius about the matter of the notebook! DUN DUN DUN! Ah, let us see how it pans out, shall we?**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 7:

My Deep, Dark, Dirty Secret

* * *

Sirius sighed as he was talking to James. He knew James was trying to make more of an effort towards him since Remus and he had been fighting, but he simply wasn't interested in why Lily was so great, or what completely inedible thing Peter had eaten that morning.

Yesterday, Sirius had finally been able to get the message out of the notebook. He had just seen the notebook laying on Remus' bed in the dormitories, feeling the guilt of the situation and the failure of not being able to remove the damned note after over a week of having it, when he decided he would give it one last go before surrendering to fate, and it had actually worked!

He had been able to rip that message right out of there (only tearing off the corner of the page, so as not to mess up Remus' notes). It was almost as if someone had gotten there before him and removed the spells binding the pages...

It was just as Sirius was reflecting on this that he felt a familiar presence behind him, and turned to see Remus, who had had his hand hovering above Sirius' shoulder, about to get his attention.

James had stopped talking by now, and was giving them some privacy, as he went and talked to Lily instead (who, if Remus and Sirius hadn't currently been too absorbed in their own company, would have noticed had even welcomed him).

"Remus..." Sirius said, cautiously.

Remus wore a light smile on his face, and had a certain emotion sparkling in his eyes that Sirius couldn't place.

"Sirius," He said, also cautious, "Come up to the common room, and let's talk."

Sirius felt his heart sink and rise alternately. He liked the idea of being alone with Remus to talk, but dreaded that the fair boy would ask about the notebook again.

"Ok." He breathed, just relieved for now that Remus was talking to him at all.

Remus took his arm gently and led them both up the stairs to the 6th Year Boys Dormitories.

* * *

Both the boys sat there in silence for a minute, with the notebook sitting accusingly between them on Remus' bed. 

Sirius sat at the end of the bed, looking at his hands, the bed sheets, the littered floor, anywhere but at Remus and the notebook.

Remus watched Sirius for a minute, calculating his obvious guilt, and yet his excitement to be there to talk. Remus could read Sirius like a book, and he knew now that Sirius never meant to hurt him.

He smiled lightly once again, as he leaned back on the headboard of his bed.

"So." Remus said conversationally, plucking at a thread on his Gryffindor robes. "I talked to my Ancient Runes teacher today, Mr Baldwin, you know him?"

Sirius paled noticeably. before swallowing and replying in an equally conversational tone, "Met him once or twice."

Remus nodded as though considering this, "Ah. Because he tells me you happened to show up at his door, a few days ago."

Sirius snapped his head up to meet Remus' amused gaze, "He told you that?" He demanded, feeling slightly betrayed.

Remus nodded evenly, "Oh, yes. Told me you even showed him my essay."

Sirius looked terrified, "Look, Remmie, please don't be mad at me! I know, I really hurt your feelings, but I tried to help! Really I did! And I took him your essay out of your notebook, to show him you did your work, yeah? And he seemed pretty pleased, I thought maybe..." And his voice died off in desperation to appease his friend.

Remus looked at him unwaveringly.

Sirius swallowed again. "So?" He (would later deny) squeaked in question to the werewolf, who still sat comfortably on the bed, "What did he say?"

Remus smiled affectionately at Sirius, the poor thing really did care about how he felt.

Sirius felt his heart swell with the look Remus gave him, and a relief wash over him at Remus' next words.

"I passed."

Sirius let a huge grin take over his face, at the same time Remus leaned forward and grabbed him in a hug.

Sirius felt like pinching himself, he must be dreaming. For his plan to have worked so well, it was amazing. And Remus didn't hate him!

"I'm sorry." Sirius said again, as they pulled away from each other.

Remus nodded, still smiling. "I know. I'm sorry too."

Sirius let the grin take over his face again, but only for a few seconds before Remus simply had to ask.

"But, I really have to know, why did you take my notebook in the first place?"

Remus sat looking imploringly into Sirius' eyes, and Sirius felt he could never lie to Remus again.

Sirius sighed. "It's complicated." He replied.

Remus frowned a little, "How so? I mean... it's just my notebook, right?"

They shared a look then, that let them both know it was much more than that. And although neither could say they knew why in that moment, the notebook suddenly became a symbol of something much more untouchable, much more difficult to understand that an essay or failed grades or misplaced messages.

Sirius knew though, that a moment like this, where they were so open with each other, wasn't likely to come again. And so, to a safe degree, he spilled.

Sirius ran his hands through his hair, and breathed deeply before relenting. "Okay."

Remus sat up straight with slight surprise and eagerness as he realised Sirius was about to answer the question that had plagued his mind for days, why?

Sirius trained his eyes on his hands again as he began.

"It all started in History of Magic last week."

Remus started at that, _'The same day I wrote my last entry?'_ he thought, but Sirius didn't notice.

"Me and James were using those quills we have, ya' know, the ones that make messages appear on another persons page when you speak their name? Yeah, well, we were talking about a certain... subject."

Sirius eyes darted momentarily to Remus' before returning to his hands again, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"And when it was my turn to write a message back to him, you asked me for something, I don't remember what now, at the same time that I was about to say James' name, but instead I said yours! And so, the message ended up in your, er, notebook."

Remus was astounded, all that had happen right under his nose? He looked at the notebook in surprise.

"So," Sirius said, also looking at the notebook now, "I knew I had to get that message out, before you saw it, and I... well, I took it."

Remus looked at him then, surprise still in his expression.

"I never planned on taking it! I just wanted to get the message out before you saw it, and so I tried to rip it out while you were in the shower, but it wouldn't budge!"

Remus blushed a little, "Er, my placement charms."

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, "The bastard it was, the page wouldn't co-operate! So... I took it for a while to see if I could get it out." he finished.

Remus looked thoughtful then.

"I swear though Moony," Sirius added, disparity back in his voice, "If I had known you had an essay in there, I never would have taken it!"

Remus looked up and smiled, placing his hand on Sirius' clenched hands.

"I understand."

Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, he was blown away once again by Remus' forgiving nature. Not that he was complaining.

"Really?!" Sirius asked, hopefully.

Remus chuckled a little, "Of course. And anyway, how can I stay mad at you when you got up at 5:30 in the morning for little ol' me?" he laughed.

Sirius laughed with him, feeling the comfortable familiarity seep back into the room.

"But, still, why couldn't I know what was in the note?" Remus asked, a little hurt shining in his eyes now.

Sirius knew that part would be hard to explain. After all, they didn't keep anything from each other.

Sirius sighed, "It... well, that's where it gets really complicated."

Remus raised an eyebrow at his friend, "Even more complicated than a scheme to kidnap my notebook?" He asked incredulously.

Sirius glared good-naturedly at him, but then he sobered. "Yes." He said.

Remus frowned a little, "Did it... have anything to do with me?" He asked quietly.

Sirius didn't answer for a long time, just sat there, not looking at the other boy, before he nodded, very slowly.

Remus' frowned sadly now, "Was it... mean?" He asked dejectedly.

Sirius looked up quickly then, to see Remus avoiding his gaze and looking hurt.

"No!" He said quickly, "_No_, Rem, I would never, _never_ say anything bad about you to _anyone_. You know me better than that..."

Remus looked up and saw the sincerity shining in Sirius eyes, and was relieved.

"But, then, what was it about?" He asked.

Sirius shook his head in finality. "I can't tell you."

Remus was a little ruffled at that, "Why not? It's about me, I mean, don't I have the right to know?"

Sirius grabbed Remus' hand then, "Rem, I don't want to loose your friendship, not for anything."

Remus was confused, "But, you said it wasn't anything bad! And anyway, you could never loose my friendship."

Sirius shook his head sadly, "It's not bad... but, you might not like it all the same."

Remus looked deeply into his eyes and for a minute they just looked at each other, an intimacy falling between them.

"You can tell me, Sirius."

Sirius continued to look in Remus eyes for a moment, before he decided, yes, he really could.

He smiled a little, fear rocking his soul, but drawing strength from Remus' hand clasped in his own, as he slowly opened his mouth to tell him the gut-retching truth...

"SIRIUS! REMUS!" James voice flooded up the stairs, as a pounding of footsteps reached the door, and the two boys on the bed flung apart from each other.

"Sirius, Remus!" James said again as he stood at the top of the stairs, Lily standing behind him with a smile and a blush on her features.

"Me and Lily!" He said, "She finally said yes!" He put his arm through Lily's, and Lily nodded.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other before smiling at them both, deciding they should be happy for their friends.

"That's great prongs!" Sirius congratulated, standing and slapping James on the shoulder, wearing his usual grin.

Remus smiled gently, and congratulated the flushed Lily.

"Let's go celebrate!" James decided.

* * *

Although Sirius and Remus had an awkwardness between them the rest of the night, and a confusion in their eyes when ever they looked at each other, they were willing to put it behind them for now, to celebrate their friends' good fortune.

As they went to their own respective beds later that night, Remus felt the question burning in his mind, and didn't forget how Sirius had almost told him the secret which now, it seemed, would remain a mystery.

* * *

**A/N: Aw, SO CLOSE! Lol, I'm a cruel authoress. **

**Ah well, perhaps Sirius won't give up that easily, eh? Will he get the courage to reveal to Remus the message he had been hiding from him? Perhaps. Perhaps not.**

**It all depends, on you, and that little purple button below this story. Will you click it? DO YOU ACCEPT YOUR DESTINY?**

**Until next time,**

**The elf you all love to review,**

**-Emerald-**


	8. Chp 8: The Message Said

******

* * *

**

The Message Said

* * *

Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. 

**Disclaimer: Characters not mine, the plot is.**

A/N: Sorry, its a short chapter this one. But I felt it was as long as it needed to be. I know a lot of you have been eagarly awaiting this one to see what Sirius will do, so here you go. And yes, the name of the chap is right, I thought it was appropriate as it is... about what the message said, and all. eh.

I promise I will update soon with a follow up, because this one is short.

So enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 8:

The Message Said

* * *

It had been only last night that Sirius had come but an inch away from telling Remus what the message had said. In fact, he could still taste the words on his tongue, poised to confess his longest kept secret, his love for Remus.

_'And if it wasn't for that good-for-nothing James Potter...'_ Sirius thought frustratedly. He didn't really blame his friend though.

The boy had been happy, he had finally gotten the girl of his dreams! He had told James afterwards anyway, when they got back from the Three Broomsticks, about how he had been about to tell Remus. James had just about cried, both from exasperation and the irony that he, the one who had been bugging Sirius for years to tell their Lycanthrope friend, had also been the one to stop it.

Now it was morning, Sirius had altogether lost his nerve, and wasn't sure he could do it. James had told him, though, that he would set it up for them, to make it ideal to talk, but Sirius had declined outright, saying he simply couldn't handle another 'deep and meaningful' with Remus so soon.

_'And now what do I do?' _Sirius thought, sighing and leaning back in the generous armchair set in the Gryffindor Common Room.

He had to tell Remus, he had decided. He had not come this far, done this much, just to give up now. It simply wasn't the Sirius Black way.

And although, he now realised, he had gone through all this to keep it a _secret_ from Remus, just to relent that he should tell him anyway, he did muse that at least he and Remus had talked things out, and he was in a much better position to tell the werewolf now than to leave Remus to find the message in his notebook. That would have been just awkward.

_'Ok,' _Sirius thought,_ 'So now, it's the perfect time to tell Moony. I should just do it. Right now. Now... now.'_

He didn't move.

He knew his friend was still in his bed in the dormitories, as it wasn't yet noon, and that was around the time the werewolf usually arose of a Sunday morning.

But he simply sat, and waited. For what, he wasn't sure.

_'Perhaps a divine epiphany will appear to me.'_

He felt something in his pocket, and patted it, before reaching inside and taking it out, to see his enchanted quill.

He looked at the coffee table in front of him, and saw that someone had left a piece of parchment behind.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. "Close enough."

* * *

Remus was sitting in his bed, with his notebook on his lap, open to a page with a missing corner, just starring at it. 

What message had been there? What secret had been erased?

If he had only known earlier... if he had only checked his notebook before Sirius had gotten the message out...

But Sirius didn't want him to know.

Hence it being a secret.

Remus sighed. He hadn't been able to use the notebook ever since his last entry to the diary part of it last week. And he doubted he ever would again.

Somehow, the notebook had become some kind of a taboo between Sirius and he, and although he really couldn't pin the reason why, it plagued heavily on his mind the question of what that damned message had said.

* * *

Sirius poised his quill above the parchment, leaning heavily against the coffee-table, thinking of what to write. 

He was going to confess... ironically using the same system that he had originally given the message to Remus. Except this time, he was ready, and he would do it right.

"I can do this." He whispered to himself, gaining courage.

Once he did this, there was no going back. When Remus read this, he would know. And they would have to face the feeling that had lay hidden beneath the surface of their friendship, dig it up, and hopefully reconstruct into more that a friendship... hopefully.

Sirius swallowed hard, and his hand shook with nerves.

Finally, he nodded his head decidedly, and put pen to parchment.

* * *

Remus sighed, decidedly. 

The notebook was something he would never understand.

He wasn't sure about what exactly was going on between he and Sirius, but held no illusion that Sirius returned his feelings, and knew now that he had to preserve his friendship with the boy. He had been unrealistic to hold hopes for a relationship between them, and had decided to do what was necessary.

He closed the notebook then, with a finale-sounding snap.

He held it tightly in his hand, before walking to the window of the Boys Dormitories, next to Sirius' bed.

The window which looked out directly over the lake of Hogwarts.

* * *

"Remus." Sirius said in a breathless voice, as though it itself held the weight of his confession, and watched as his message dissipated slowly from the page before him.

* * *

In that same moment, slim, scarred hands loosed their grip as a familiar notebook dropped through the air, plummeting in slow motion it seemed, as amber eyes watched its decent. 

Unknown, a forbidden confession filled its pages many times over, as its writer had wished it so strongly.

The notebook which held the message, now never to be read by any but the water of Hogwarts Lake, splashed, breaking the water.

As it slowly sank to the rocky bottom, banished from the sight of the only one it was meant for, the pages turned, from a sudden current in the water, to a particular page.

A scrawl, shaky from nerves, handwriting which read;

_'The message said... I love you.'__

* * *

_

**A/N: Ah yes. How sad. Now Remus will never know.**

**Or will he?... Only I know.**

**Review, and I shall share this knowledge with you.**

**I apologise that this was so short, the next one won't be. **

**-Emerald-**


	9. Chp 9: The Hogwarts Lake

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**The Message Said**

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**Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. **

**Disclaimer: Well, they may not be mine YET, technically, but ONE DAY!**

**A/N: Heya faithful reviewers! Ya'll have been so wonderful to me during this story, I want to thank you all for all of your tasty, tasty reviews.**

**Now, I may get slack for a while, what with me just going back to school and starting grade 12, the big 1-2, but I will try (with all my might!) to be consistant with my updates.**

**Anyways, I know you guys have been bugging me to hurry up and post this one after all the angst in the earlier chaps, and this one I have to say isn't all that eventful. Peter features prominantly. But all the same, I'm sure you will agree this is a vital chapter, and I promise the Slashy Goodness is coming! Hang in there for me!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 9: **

**The Hogwarts Lake**

* * *

Peter Pettigrew was considered a cowardly boy, not well liked, and not entirely trusted by many either. 

Vaguely considered the forth and last Marauder, he often found himself with a reputation as a tag along without any real friends beyond Remus, Sirius and James.

And that was why he preferred to be alone if not with his fellow Marauders.

During such sessions alone, as he was enjoying at this very moment, he often tended to his many hobbies, that being eating (first and foremost), listening to his favorite Muggle band; The Cranberries, and lastly - fishing.

Not many knew that Peter Pettigrew liked to fish, and so none thought to find him sitting by the Hogwarts Lake, quite hidden by the castle wall to his left, and the start of the Forbidden forest to his right, with fishing-pole in the water and his chubby feet resting on the waters edge.

Suddenly, though, all was not peaceful for Peter's fishing, as he felt his line catch on something under the water directly in front of him. Now, as Peter knew that not many fish actually lived in the lake, he instead most often fished for lost treasures found at the bottom of the mysterious water.

_'Ah,'_ Peter smiled,_ 'first catch of the day!'_

He lifted his line carefully, gently, slowly pulling it up and out of the water, as the object attached became heavier the closer it came to the surface.

Eventually, his efforts seised, as the object broke the water and Peter flung it onto the grass.

Looking upon it, he saw that he had fished up a...

_'Notebook?'_

He raised an eyebrow at it, but shrugged carelessly. He wasn't picky about his treasure. Besides, it might hold something interesting inside.

Unhooking his line from the sodden cover of this strange notebook, Peter held it in front of his face, trying to read the name on the cover.

_'E-us...pin'_ Was all he could get from it.

_'Oh well._' He thought, _'Might be from someone who already graduated anyway.'_

He opened the cover to look upon many notes, scrupulously taken on all kinds of subjects that Peter knew nothing about, not being particularly bright as he was.

_'This person must have been really smart...'_ He mused, _'Doing Ancient Runes and all that stuff...'_

After turning the first page, however, he found that every page there after had the same nonsensical scrawl written in numerous random pages all over the book.

And what made it seem even stranger to the young Pettigrew, was that none of it was in the same handwriting as the owner of the book; it was much messier, darker, more cursive than the light, loopy handwriting that neatly lined the pages.

As Peter got further through the book, his attention very acutely turned to what this message that has been repeating hundreds of times over said, he found that the water of the lake had not seeped in all the way, and the text became clearer.

Eventually, Peter came to a page in which he immediately recognised exactly whose handwriting, and notebook, it was.

"Remus!" Peter exclaimed, reading over the boy's notes. He had copied these same notes from Remus only a month ago!

_'But what was Remus' notebook doing in the lake? Did someone take it?'_

And that was when Peter remembered, Remus had been looking for this notebook a few weeks ago!

Peter then looked up, and saw that a window, the very window to their dorm room in fact, overlooked the lake.

_'Someone must have taken it, and chucked it out the window!'_ He concluded, shaking his head at the scandal. _'Poor Remus, he must want this back so badly!'_

Peter looked back down at the notebook in his hands, and this time noticed the message that had been repeated on every page, including this one, and now saw what it said.

He gasped, as he too recognised the handwriting, and realised what the message implied.

_'Remus and... Sirius?'_

He never would have guessed.

* * *

It had been almost a week since Sirius had written his message to Remus, confessing his love for the second time, and still he had received no response. 

Sirius mused that he would have preferred Remus tell him he wasn't interested rather than he just ignore the situation. Sirius was heartbroken over Remus' reaction.

He had expected Remus to be a little more sensitive about it though, I mean, he just acted as though nothing had happened!

He had thought that maybe... well, it doesn't matter now anyway. Remus obviously wasn't interested.

To treat him as though his feelings weren't even worth a reply... Sirius just hadn't been himself since, mopping around in a depressed manner, not even cooking up any schemes to humiliate Slytherins!

It just wasn't natural.

James sighed.

_'Poor Sirius.'_ He thought.

Sirius had woken him late in the middle of the night the day before, while all the other 6th Year boys were sleeping, had climbed into James' bed, and promptly started crying and telling James about what had happened. James was startled at the time, and had to console his friend well into the early hours of the morn, before Sirius was composed enough to go back to his own bed and sleep.

James had decided since then that he had to do something.

_'Sirius just hasn't been Sirius since he lost Moony!'_

And now that he knows what happened, he has a few choice words for that werewolf friend of theirs, namely questioning where the hell he gets off ignoring Sirius' confession like that!

In hindsight, James realised that he was being a bit protective over Sirius. But it was simply in his nature. He and Sirius had always looked out for each other in instances like this, and they were the only two guys they knew who had been comfortable to even cry in front of each other. That's the kind of male bond you just don't take lightly!

As James came out of his thoughts, he noticed that there was Remus, descending the staircase from the Boys dormitories, and quickly stood up to intersect his path to the portrait door.

"Remus." James said, placidly.

"James?" Remus asked, raising a delicate eyebrow. Remus had been feeling a little down lately, and had been even more antisocial than usual, ever since he and Sirius had stropped talking about a week ago.

"Remus." James repeated, nodding, "I need to talk to you."

Remus looked a bit skeptical, but nodded all the same, as James grabbed his arm and led him to the couch in the common room.

A moment of silence surrounded them, before James suddenly exclaimed;

"What is your deal?!"

Remus stared at the boy, "Excuse me?" he asked, surprised and slightly afraid.

"What have you done to Padfoot?" James narrowed his eyes at his friend accusingly.

"Padfoot?" Remus asked, "Nothing! We haven't even talked for a week!" he shook his head in emphasis.

"Exactly!" James exclaimed, standing up and facing his back to Remus.

"I don't follow." Remus said flatly.

James sighed as though he were explaining the meaning of life to a three year old, turning back to the face Remus in a dramatic flourish. "You haven't _talked_ to Padfoot!"

Remus looked confused. "And Padfoot hasn't talked to me!" Then he sat up a bit straighter, and asked hopefully, "Do you know why?"

James glared at the smaller boy. "Don't you play coy with me!" He said scathingly, "You should have answered Sirius!"

"Answered what?!" Remus exclaimed, standing up too, and waving his arms about in a confused fashion, "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Of course you do!" James poked Remus in the chest aggressively, "You didn't reply to Sirius' message to you!"

Remus' face took on a light of understanding then, "You know about Sirius' message to me?"

"Of course!" James said, exasperated.

"Do you know what it said?" Remus asked quickly.

James raised an eyebrow, was Remus embarrassed about Sirius' confession? "Yes, I know everything!"

Remus suddenly grabbed the boy by his robes, bringing him close to his face with all that forgotten werewolf strength, and whispered harshly to him, "**Tell me**."

James was the one to look confused now, "What do you mean 'tell' you? Didn't you read it? How many bloody times does he have to write it too you for gods sake?!"

Remus drew his eyebrows together in confusion, "What do you mean 'how many times'? It... It was only the once, wasn't it?"

James sighed and brushed Remus' hands off of him, "All right, I'll say it plain and clear."

He gestured to Remus, "SIRIUS sent YOU a message using the enchanted quills we invented, and then HE tried to get the message out of YOUR notebook."

Remus nodded impatiently, he knew all this.

"After having done that, with quite a bit of trouble on his part I might add," James continued, "He then decided he should just tell you anyway, so he wrote the note to you again, er, more directly."

Remus was amazed,_ 'Sirius wrote the note again? It still exists?!'_

"Wait!" Remus exclaimed, "What did the note say?!"

James raised his eyebrows at him in shock.

"Haven't you read it?"

Remus shook his head.

James gaped. "YOU HAVEN'T READ IT? By God! It was almost a week ago that he wrote it!"

"Oh bugger..." Remus gasped.

"He thinks you hate him 'cause you didn't answer!" James explained, now thoroughly annoyed that he hadn't stepped in to fix this mess a lot earlier in the piece.

Remus paced in a circle, "Where is it?! I have to find it!"

"Check your notebook!" James exclaimed, flailing with alarm, as Remus panicked.

Then Remus remembered... the notebook... the lake!

"OH, HOLY MOTHER OF MERLIN!" James yelled, pointing at Remus, eyes wide, "YOU LOST THE NOTEBOOK!"

Remus stopped dead, "I threw it in the lake!" He exclaimed, "I HAVE TO GET IT BACK!"

James gaped at him, "YOU DID WHAT!" He then breathed deeply stated seriously, "Who are you, and what have you done with Remus Lupin?"

"James!" Remus yelled, completely desperate, "You have to help me!"

James nodded frantically, "Sure, yeah, of course! We have to find it!"

And with that, they sprinted down the staircase from Gryffindor Tower, and out to the grounds of Hogwarts, eagerly making their way to the lake.

* * *

**A/N: JAMES TO THE RESCUE! I thought James had better repent his UGLY SIN of interupting Remus and Sirius before they were about to confess, in chapter 7, and so I had him resolve things somewhat by helping Remus.**

**So, what did you think? Going well? **

**Well, not so many chapters to go after this one, perhaps three at the most, so everything is wrapping up! The plot is being resolved! All shall be revealed!**

**Until my next update,**

**Your loyal house-elf,**

**-Emerald-**


	10. Chp 10: Remus' Realisation!

* * *

**The Message Said**

* * *

**Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. **

**Disclaimer: If your reading this, I think It's safe to assume thier not yours either.**

**A/N: Hello my wonderful reviewers! Thank you all for being so patient, and waiting for this chap. I know it must fustrate you with how inconsistant my updating has been, but I really am finding it hard with all my school work (grade 12 and all...) so this is the first chance I've had to write another chap!  
**

**Not so far to go, either, only a few more chaps.**

**Keep those wonderful reviews coming, though! They really encourage me to keep going!**

**And now, on with the fic!**

**

* * *

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Chapter 10:

Remus' Realisation!

* * *

Sirius kicked a smallish rock next to the tree he was wallowing under. He had been walking through the forbidden forest for hours.

Stupid, he knew. No one should walk in the forest for more than a few minutes, and only then if you had too. Forgetting the fact that he was also alone in the forest, he had actually been planning to head back to Hogwarts soon; he just needed a little more time to feel sorry for himself.

Ever since he had confessed to Remus, they hadn't talked. Hadn't even spoken about it!

It. The thing. Thingamabob.

Sirius tried to make himself say it, say it out loud, and make himself face it.

"Love..." He whispered, resting his back against the tree trunk.

He still couldn't wrap his head around it.

He had loved Remus for so long... he doesn't remember when it started. It had merely always been a factor of their relationship.

And now, Remus knows. And he doesn't feel the same.

_'Probably doesn't even want to be friends anymore.'_

Sirius let himself slip down the trunk to sit in the grass there, and almost felt like crying.

Now he had truly lost him.

* * *

James and Remus ran out to the grounds, crashing into Professor McGonagall as they went, all her books and papers crashing to the titled floor. 

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Lupin!" She yelled in outrage, but both kept running, Remus at least having the decency to yell back a "Sorry miss!"

Although they knew come Monday they would be receiving some choice words from their Head of House, the boys knew they had to keep running, couldn't stop, for what they endeavoured to fix was a much more important matter than house points.

* * *

Peter sat at the lake, holding the notebook in his hand, possibilities running through his head. 

_'Perhaps it's a joke?'_ He thought_, 'A prank I didn't know about?'_

He nodded, then thought, _'But then why chuck the notebook into the lake?'_

He shook his head, not understanding.

"Maybe..." He said out loud, "Maybe they really are..."

"Peter!" A familiar voice suddenly yelled from behind him. Peter turned, pulling his feet out of the lake and standing up, to see Remus and James coming quickly towards him.

"Pete!" James said again, "You gotta help us, Remus lost his notebook, you see, and it's really important-"

"You mean this one?" Peter asked, interrupting James and holding said notebook up in question.

James and Remus were stunned.

"Er, well, yes." James replied in shock.

"YES!" Remus yelled, grabbing the notebook from Peter, and cradling it protectively against his chest.

"Great going, Pete!" James slapped Peter affectionately on the back.

"Oh, Pete, how on earth did you get it?" Remus asked, a thankful smile on his face.

Peter smiled back, grateful for all the attention. "Oh, well, I was just fishing at the lake, there," He pointed to where he had been sitting only a moment ago, "And I guess I kinda, er, caught it."

Remus grabbed Peter and hugged the portly boy, smiling in appreciation. "You don't know how big a favor you've done for me, Peter." He said.

Peter blushed, "Er, well, actually, I think I do know."

James and Remus looked at him questioningly.

"I kinda... read the note Sirius wrote in your notebook." Peter replied.

Remus froze, and James immediately became defensive.

"What do you mean by that, Pete?" He asked, "You don't have a problem with it, do you?"

Peter looked frightened then, "N-No!" he squeaked, "I-I just didn't k-know..."

"Hold on," Remus interrupted, "_I_ haven't read the message yet!"

"Oh," James realised, "That's right."

"You haven't read it?" Peter asked, astounded, "But it's about you!"

"Go on then!" James urged Remus, both of them watching Remus, waiting for him to reveal the secret between him and Sirius.

Remus nodded, and sat down. The other two sat down with him.

He took a deep breath, and opened the pages, his delicate fingers slowly folding the pages over.

Finding the first half or so to be unreadable, Remus quickly skipped to further in the book... to a page with a missing corner.

There, plastered many times over the pages, Remus saw Sirius' familiar scrawl.

He gasped.

* * *

Sirius sat under his tree, as it started to get darker, the Sunset now coming, he knew it would be dark soon. 

That he should probably head back.

Still, he didn't move.

Something told him to stay.

Whether it be his own want to stay away from Remus at the moment, or some kind of divine call to him to stay put, he didn't know.

He didn't care.

He merely stayed where he was, and thought of a love that would never be.

"I'm better of alone." He whispered to himself.

* * *

"How long has Sirius been gone?" Remus asked quickly, standing up and looking frantic, his heart thumping with both terror and excitement. Terror that Sirius now hated him for not responding to the message, for not even knowing it existed, and excitement over what the message had revealed. 

James nodded in understanding, "He went for a walk around the grounds, this morning. It's been hours."

Remus ran a nervous hand through his hair, "I need to find him!" he said.

"I saw him go through the forbidden forest..." Peter supplied, "A while ago, maybe he's still in there?"

Remus nodded, "Thanks, Pete!"

And almost took off, before turning back and hugging James, who hugged back supportively.

"Thanks, James." Remus said emphatically.

James nodded, letting him go, and as Remus ran towards the forbidden Forest, he yelled after him; "Go get 'em, Remmie!"

* * *

Remus ran for what seemed the longest time, thinking about everything, he and Sirius, what the message had said... and everything made sense now! He felt dense for not realising it earlier, after how long he had harboured feelings for Sirius, he had failed to see that Sirius had felt something for him as well! 

And now, he had to find him, and see exactly how Sirius did feel about him. What this truly love for him? After all the girls Remus had seen him with (and a number of boys as well) one had to question Sirius' commitment. Perhaps Remus would just be another play thing for him.

Remus shook his head, trying not to think usch thoughts, he would simply have to confront Sirius, and find out.

It was a short while later, that he started to see Sirius' footprint tracks in the dirt of the forest floor.

He could smell his lingering scent too, could tell he had been there only a short while ago.

He was near by.

Remus continued to use his werewolf senses, looking for further clues and sniffing the air for traces of Sirius.

It was then he noticed the dark figure sitting, hunched over, underneath a large oak tree.

"Sirius..." He called quietly, as the larger boy looked up, finally noticing him.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I know this may have been a little fast-paced, but it will slow down as Remus and Sirius finally talk it out, I promise.**

**And so, next chap: will Remus and Sirius finally admit to each other how they feel? **

**They bloody well better, I say. I'm sick of all thier confusion and 'beating around the bush' with this. I say CONFESS ALREADY!**

**But alas, I do not control them... **

**Oh, wait, yes I do. -evil smirk-**

**So, you had better review, if you want happy results, eh?**

**Much love,**

**-Emerald-**


	11. Chp 11: Too Little, Too Late

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* * *

**

The Message Said

* * *

**Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. **

**Disclaimer: I AM J.K. Rowling. Sue me.**

**A/N: Ah, hello. Since you've all been so persisitant, and have sent lots of reviews, I have posted this one a lot earlier than the other chaps.**

**In this chap, we see a confrontation between Sirius and Remus, and some feelings shared.**

**Keep up the reviews! And for all of you who read and don't review, I shake my fist at you. You should show your appreciation! -Emerald nods head solemnly-**

**Anyways, on with the story!**

**Enjoy.**

**

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**Chapter 11: **

**Too Little, Too Late**

* * *

Sirius sat up straight as he heard a familiar voice call his name. 

"Sirius..."

He turned his head to see Remus slowly approaching.

Sirius was surprised, to say the least, but quickly stood up and walked a few paces towards the smaller boy, stopping a few meters short awkwardly.

Neither of the boys went any closer, instead staring at each other, each giving the other a wide berth.

Finally, after the first few surprised and awkward moments, Sirius remembered exactly how he felt about Remus at the moment.

"Lupin." He growled, "What do you want?" He crossed his arms and did his best to seem threatening.

"Sirius..." Remus said softly, sympathetically, "I'm sorry we haven't spoken-"

"In weeks?" Sirius interrupted harshly, "Yeah, would have been nice."

Remus sighed; he was going to be difficult about this.

"Siri, I didn't know-"

"Didn't know?! How much more obvious could I be?" Sirius yelled, walking around and flinging his arms out in anger. "I've been sitting here for god knows how long telling myself that you probably hate me, or think I'm disgusting, and that I've been making a fool of myself over you, that you probably knew all along!"

Remus walked further towards him, trying to appease the boy, "Sirius, I swear I don't think your disgusting, your my friend!"

Sirius stopped pacing and walked right over to Remus with a menacing glare in his eyes, and told him harshly, "Don't you_ dare_ feel sorry for me, Lupin! I don't need any sympathy from _you_."

Remus felt the hurt flash in his own eyes, and thought he saw Sirius' soften for a moment, before he filled with his own anger.

"I'm not trying to feel sorry for you, Sirius!" He yelled at the taller boy, "I'm just trying to talk to you!"

"Too little, too late!" Sirius yelled back cruelly.

"Sirius, please-!"

"NO!" Sirius yelled louder, his face going red with rage. "You don't care about me!"

Remus looked at him sadly now, "Sirius, of course I-"

"No." Sirius stated definitely, then looked away as he whispered, so softly only Remus' werewolf hearing could pick it up; "I thought you were my best friend."

Silence engulfed them then, the air seeming to buzz after all their loud yelling.

Just as Remus opened his mouth to say something, Sirius said, every bit of malice still lacing his voice;

"You should have talked to me a week ago."

Remus looked up again at this. He knew, it must seem as though he had been a horrible friend, ignoring Sirius after his confession. It must have been so hard for Sirius to say what he had.

And as Remus looked at his friend in front of him now, avoiding his eyes and rubbing his hands through his hair in distress, Remus could see his hurt like an open wound.

They stood in silence for a long while, Remus knowing he should explain, but not quite knowing how, and Sirius waiting for Remus to say something to make it all go away, like he had done when Sirius was upset in the past.

It started to rain then, as they stood in the open, and the heavy liquid fell from the sky, soaking their bodies through their clothes.

Silently, they both took refuge under the same tree Sirius had been brooding under, still not meeting each others eyes.

As they listened to the rain fall heavily around their tree, they sat, close enough to touch, but making sure they didn't, and Remus finally replied.

"I only read the message for the first time this morning."

Sirius looked up quickly, his eyes falling on Remus for the first time since his yelling.

"What?" He asked, quietly, shocked, and then wondered if Remus had even heard him over the rain.

He knew he had when Remus nodded his head solemnly. Sirius looked ahead at the rain again, a stunned silence engulfing them.

"That explains a bit." Sirius said, mostly to himself.

Remus looked at his friend. "I'm sorry."

Sirius nodded slowly. "I know."

"I feel, I mean-" Remus thought brokenly, trying to express his mutuality, Sirius looked at him expectantly.

"I feel... the same, I mean." Remus finished lamely.

Sirius looked stunned, but didn't comment for a long time, until he muttered a surprised; "Oh."

Neither knew what to do then, as the matter of the message, and their unspoken feelings, lay between them. It was as though it were a puzzle only they could solve, but both were too shy to attempt.

"I mean, are you even..." Sirius started, and Remus waited patiently. "Do you even... go, for boys, I mean?"

Remus contemplated the question as they both tried to get comfortable under the tree, in their wet clothes, hidden from the rain.

"I suppose I never really thought about it." Remus said, "I never liked girls, more than friends I mean...", and with a bit more thought, continued; "I guess, though, that I had always wanted a boyfriend."

Remus blushed bright red at his little confession, and wondered if Sirius had noticed as the dark-haired boy nodded thoughtfully.

A long time passed then, where they just sat and watched the rain, hoping the other would say those three little words that each wanted to hear, but was afraid to say. No matter how the situation seemed, both were still terrified of rejection.

_'What if Sirius doesn't love me like I love him?'_ Remus wondered as he looked over at the boy next to him, shivering from the cold and wet.

_'What if Remus doesn't love me like I love him?'_ Sirius thought glumly as he focused his eyes on his hands, trying to refrain himself.

Neither would have guessed the other was every bit as itching to touch them as they were in that moment.

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**A/N: Yeah, yeah I know. I kinda left the moment there for now. I shall hence forth call this chapter: 'Rain Scene - Part 1'! **

**'Rain Scene - Part 2' Shall be the next chapter. Which I have already written. Bwa Ha Ha!**

**I had to split it in two, you see, because otherwise it would have been too long. And now, ye shall have to wait for the rest of it!**

**In the next chap: Remus and Sirius come to terms with thier feelings for each other, and some body heat may be shared...**

**Only like, one or two chaps to go too.**

**Ah well. You know the drill! Review, and I shall update very soon!**

**-Emerald-**


	12. Chp 12: My Perfect Guy

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**The Message Said**

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**Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. **

**Disclaimer: All me. I invented all.**

**A/N: Here we are, the last chap, which tried to get away from me, but I caught it! -Emerald pumps her arm into the air in triumph-**

**Unfortunatly, this is the last chap, besides an epilogue I might post. Everything comes together! Hope you enjoy!**

**In this chap, SLASH AHOY! Finally it has come! I hope you enjoy the slashy goodness, and all the fluffiness as well. **

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 12: **

**My Perfect Guy

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As the rain continued to fall around them, accompanied by the loud noise it made as the water plummeted to the earth, two boys sat under a large oak tree in a more desolate area of the Forbidden Forest, hoping both that someone would come and get them to take them back to the castle they had lost track of, and that they could stay there, forever if need be, until they had sorted out what currently lay between them.

The boys, for their part, sat in silence, every now and then getting ready to ask a question, before loosing their courage.

Finally, Remus asked, his voice breaking over the rain;

"Have you always known you liked boys?" It was quiet, but Sirius caught it easily.

The dark-haired boy nodded a bit, "Yeah, pretty much."

Remus looked a little surprised, "But, then why all the girls?" He asked, a little embarrassed.

Sirius felt himself gain a little of that famous Black grin, as he replied; "It's called being Bisexual, Remus."

Remus blushed a little deeper, but managed to reply with an "Oh."

Sirius was thoughtful for a moment then, before he continued reluctantly;

"I guess though, that I kinda, used to picture my perfect guy, you know?" Sirius seemed thoughtful; as Remus watched his features soften for a moment, before he shrugged it off. "Ah, anyway, it's stupid."

Remus was slow to ask, but eventually pried.

"W-what do you picture your ideal guy like?" Remus' voice broke a little, and he cursed himself for sounding so uncomfortable.

There was a pregnant silence before he slowly replied.

"I dunno," Sirius said casually, as he readjusted his legs to sit more comfortably, trying not to notice just how _auburn_ Remus' hair could be when it was wet. "I guess I just always wanted a guy that I could have fun with. Like a mate, you know? Only..."

Sirius scratched his nose as a pink tinge came over his cheeks. He just wasn't very good at talking about his ideal guy _to_ his ideal guy.

Remus nodded, staring ahead of himself in defiance of his own want to shift closer to the warm body beside him.

"So, tell me, Remus." Sirius suddenly whispered, as though he were asking him to reveal a forbidden secret, so quiet, and yet too afraid to ask any louder. "What's your perfect guy like?"

Remus was silent for a long moment, and Sirius almost thought he wouldn't answer him, until the frail boy replied, every bit as quietly as Sirius had, every bit in confidence, in secret.

"I want a guy..." Remus replied slowly, "I want a guy who would move the hair away from myeyes, and then kiss me..."

Sirius' eyes widened a bit at the intimacy of what was just said, and Remus blushed, but continued.

"W-who would hold my hand in public, and make all the girls jealous... Someone, who would singto me in the right moments, who would let me sleep on their chest..."

Sirius leaned closer in wonder, as Remus' voice became softer, wanting to hear every syllable the frail boy uttered.

"A boy... who would get mad at someone if they called me ugly or was mean to me..."

Sirius' breath hitched, and his hands twitched to touch the smaller boy, who just looked so vulnerable in that moment.

Remus smiled softly then, "I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away..." He laughed softly, a single clear note, like the chime of some unknown bell. "Someone who would let me gossip to him, and would just smile and agree to everything I said."

Sirius couldn't help himself as he took one of Remus hands in his own, squeezing it reassuringly.

Remus' eyes flickered to their joined hands as he continued to smile, imagining this wonderful boy, his voice rising with excitement.

"He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb, and then kiss me to show me he didn't mean it."

Remus shook his head in amusement, as though this imaginary boy was such a wonder.

"Someone... who would make fun of me just to make me laugh."

Sirius looked on in amazement and admiration, of the boy before him, in all his open beauty, and wondered how he had never realised.

Remus voice became softer again, and after a moment of silence, he continued;

"He would take me to the park... and put his arms around my waist... and give me bear hugs all the time."

Sirius eyes' softened, as he remembered then, all the times he had hugged Moony like that...

"He would tell all his friends about me," Remus told Sirius, as though informing him, "and smile when he did it."

There was a moment of silence, as Remus watched the thunderstorm around them.

"And we'd make out in the pouring rain."

Sirius felt his heart flutter in his chest, as a rising need accumulated in his chest, a need... for something...

Remus wiped away a stray tear, hoping Sirius didn't notice.

Sirius did.

"Remus..." He began, but was quickly interrupted.

"He would never be afraid to say 'I love you' in front of his friends," Remus decided, nodding definitely, "and we'd argue about silly things... then make up."

Remus smiled whimsically, "I want a boy that would kiss me at midnight on New Years... and count stars with me."

Sirius felt himself ease slowly closer to the smaller boy next to him, who didn't appear to pay attention, focusing instead on the storm in front of him, imagining his dream boy.

"A boy... who would stay home with me on Friday nights, just to help me make dinner... and watch movies together, under the same blanket."

Sirius heard his mind yelling, screaming, that he would do all these things with Remus... he would do anything, if the smaller boy could just fulfill this need...

"Someone who would tell me I'm beautiful..." Remus whispered, sad and ashamed to say so.

Sirius squeezed Remus hand again, trying to tell him something, something he knew he needed to tell him... something he didn't know.

"A boy, who would make me laugh, like no one else could." Remus said quietly.

_'Remus...'_ Sirius thought longingly.

Remus looked up then, an afraid and lost look present in his features, as he, for the first time since the storm had begun, actually looked at Sirius.

They caught each others gaze steadily.

"But mostly..." Remus said, as they both looked to each in need, "I want someone.. who would be my best friend..."

Sirius gasped a little as Remus' eyes flooded with tears, "...and would never break my heart."

Sirius knew then, he knew, what he needed, what Remus needed.

Sirius grabbed Remus' neck, roughly but tenderly, and pulled the boy closer to him, as Remus' tears streamed down his face in hot rivers.

Remus' hands came to grasp onto to Sirius' robes, pulling them even closer, as Sirius leaned forward carefully, and whispered, his hot breath over Remus' ear;

"I may not be the perfect guy, but I will do anything... anything in this world, to protect you..." His other hand ran up down Remus' back intimately.

"To kiss you..." His lips trailed softly over Remus' cheek, making Remus gasp and his hands tighten their grip on Sirius.

"To love you."

Remus looked at Sirius then, disbelief shining in his eyes.

Sirius raised his hand, the backs of his finger running along Remus' cheek, a single loving gesture.

"And I am willing," Sirius said in finality, a tremor in his voice that Remus has never heard before, "to be everything you need... if you'll settle for me." He smiled weakly.

Remus sobbed, his hands latching onto Sirius' neck and pulling his face closer.

"It's always been you." He whispered.

Sirius took the last step then, and tipped his head so their lips met softly, lightly, as though sharing a secret. Something forbidden, and denied, now unleashed.

They pulled apart and looked in each other's eyes, breathing heavily from the impact of their touch.

Sirius then suddenly pushed Remus against the trunk of the tree, and closed the distance between them quickly, hungrily now, as they both felt that need swell in their chests, a void begging to be filled.

Their lips met with bruising force, Sirius' tongue slipping through Remus' lips, as they brought themselves as close as possible, their chests' pushing against each other, hands roaming each other's bodies.

Remus' mewled softly as they came apart, and Sirius' hand felt around the edge of his shirt, before plunging underneath, feeling every forbidden curve.

Sirius mused that Remus' skin felt like silk, it was so smooth, yet he knew if he were to look he would find hundreds of old scars all over his body.

Remus shivered, both from the cold and Sirius' wet yet warm hands as they travelled around his stomach and hips, teasingly slipping fingers into the hem of his pants.

Remus wrapped his legs around Sirius' waist, pulling their groins together.

They both moaned as they felt their hardening lengths through the fabric of their school pants.

Sirius took hold of Remus' hips and slowly moved them together, crating greater friction.

Remus grabbed the sides of Sirius' face, and roughly brought their lips back together, passion over taking him as all his senses were filled with the smell, and taste, of Sirius.

Carefully, Sirius adjusted Remus in his lap, so their groins rubbed together perfectly, their chests and stomach pressed together.

They both moaned louder as they felt each others erection pressing into their own, their breathing speed up and body heat engulfing them.

Moving against each other, Sirius started to move their hips faster, picking up speed as they both felt their climaxes approaching.

Tongues entwining, bodies moving against each other, Remus cried out as they came together, Sirius groaning deeply against his mouth.

They both breathed heavily as they felt waves of pleasure wash over them, but did not let go of each other, as they lay down on the damp ground, the rain still falling around their tree.

They lay there together, for a long time, not speaking, merely continuing to look into each others eyes, an understanding, a love, now between them.

Sirius stroked Remus' hair, his other arm placed protectively around his waist, as Remus snuggled against Sirius' chest.

"I love you." Remus told Sirius, uncertainly.

Sirius was quiet for a moment, and his hand stilled as it finally became a complete reality for him.

He smiled in wonderment then, and kissed Remus' forehead.

"I love you too."

And although it was only minutes, Remus and Sirius would have sworn it was hours before they heard the rain die down, and the familiar voice of Minerva McGonagall calling them out from under the tree, and into a pair of warm cloaks, before walking them brisquely back to the castle.

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**A/N: Aw! They finally got together! And Remus is so sweet...**

**Although this was TECHNICALLY the last chapter, I will post an epilogue if enough people want it. I may post one anyway, considering I think the story needs one, lol. **

**I want to thank all my regular reviewers, who have been reviewing basically every chapter since I started this story, and all those who have enjoyed it!**

**I really had fun writing this story, and I think it's funny how I started out writing it only planning for it to be a short two to three chapter fic, and here it's turned into a full story! Ah well, it worked out well, and I'm glad so many people have liked it.**

**So do let me know, if you agree with me that this deserves an epilogue, as I believe it does.**

**Much Love,**

**-Emerald-**


	13. Epilogue

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The Message Said

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**Summery: In which, Sirius accidentally sends a message meant for James to Remus, the problem with this? The message tells of his love for Remus. Now, he is on a mission to retrieve the message before Remus reads it. **

**Disclaimer: This product is meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Use only as directed. **

**A/N: -Emerald sniffs- It's sad, I know, but this is the end! -Emerald blows her nose with a tissue- Ah, but the story did so well... I'm really glad so many of you enjoyed this story! I really loved writing it.**

**So, here we are, an eplilogue for you all! Just a but of an ending, to show you a but of what happens after it all... and Lily's a major fangirl :)**

**I hope you like it.**

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**Epilogue**

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"A- a- achoo!" Sirius sneezed loudly, wiping his nose with a tissue, before laying back down and settling next to the warm body currently sharing his bed. "I feel all droopy." 

Remus groaned in agreement, and turned himself over so he could see Sirius, who looked at him bleakly, and offered him the tissue box.

Remus shook his head and laughed lightly, "Serves us right for staying out in the rain all day."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but grinned and pulled Remus closer to him, letting his hand trail down to his hip.

Sirius barked a laugh then, as he thought of something, "Remember the look on McGonagall's face when she found us last night?"

Remus felt squeamish as the thought, but laughed as well. After McGonagall had found them under the oak tree, soaked to the bone from the rain and holding into each other intimately, she had assumed they had gotten away from the castle to spend time _alone_ together, and had given them 'the talk' when they returned to the castle.

"I've never been more embarrassed in my life," Remus laughed, "After getting the talk from McGonagall!"

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "Old Minnie did go a bit overboard… and when she tried to tell us about a blowjob!"

They both laughed heartily then, the disturbing and hilarious memory forever burned into their minds, before they started coughing and settled down.

"You look smexy." Sirius said playfully, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Remus snorted, which turned quickly into a sneeze of his own, before he raised a delicate eyebrow and replied; "I'm sick, my nose is dribbling, and I sound like I have a speech impediment."

Sirius just smiled back, "Yeah, but you're cute when you're sick..."

Remus blushed, but smiled and smacked Sirius' arm, feigning a scolding look.

Sirius countered by kissing Remus' cheek a little sloppily, gaining confidence as he kissed down to Remus' neck.

Remus gasped softly as he felt Sirius' tongue travel over the pulse in his neck.

Sirius smirked, and slipped his hand deftly under Remus' shirt.

Remus moaned then, louder than he had intended, before he brought his fingers through Sirius' black mane of hair, and pulled his head up so their lips met.

Sirius moved their lips together leisurely, letting his hand come to rest on the side of Remus' face, as he was about to slip his tongue through Remus' soft lips -

"Hey, Siri, I-" James called out as he opened the door to their dormroom, instantly coming to a halt when he saw what they were doing.

Much to Remus and Sirius' embarrassment, Lily stood next to him, starring with her mouth undaintily hanging open.

Remus and Sirius seised their 'activities', their lips coming apart with a soft 'pop'. Remus blushed madly, while Sirius just grinned sheepishly.

"Damnit you guys!" James exclaimed in fake annoyance, his relieved smile betraying his act, "Can't you guys keep your hands off each other even when you're sick? You've scarred Lily!"

Lily continued to stare rudely, eyes bulging.

"Er..." Remus supplied intelligently.

"THAT WAS HOT!" Lily suddenly cried, flailing her arms in emphasis.

All three boys stared at her in shock.

"What?!" James yelled, a little embarrassed at his girlfriend's blatant appraisal. "Lily!"

"What?" She asked, unashamed, "It is!"

Sirius grinned proudly, "Thanks, Tiger-Lily!"

"Don't call me that."

"Lily-pad?"

"No."

"Lilium?"

Lily was quiet for a moment, looking thoughtful, before she smiled. "Sure, why not?"

"Hoorah!" Remus cried.

They all looked at him questioningly, and he just blushed deeper. "I was nervous..."

Sirius kissed his cheek comfortingly, and Remus smiled a little, looking away from him in embarrassment.

"Aw..." Lily sighed; smiling like any fangirl would in this situation. "If only I had a camera..."

James sighed with exasperation, before holding out a camera for her.

Lily squealed and hugged James quickly in appreciation (with James grinning from the attention), before she started snapping shots rapidly at Remus and Sirius, coming over to the bed to get right in their faces.

"Come on, boys! Do something!" She coaxed.

Remus glared at her, and muttered something akin to "Pervert..."

"All right! That's enough!" James yelled, coming over and grabbing Lily by the waist, starting to drag her out of the room, "Let's leave these guys alone now, their sick after all!"

"Oh, come on! They don't mind! Do you boys?" She called, as she was promptly extracted from the dorm, James giving them a 'Hurry up and get well' look before closing the door.

Sirius turned and grinned at Remus, "Looks like mother and father approve." He joked.

Remus laughed, before giving Sirius a mischievous look, pushing him off of him for a moment, leaning over to grab the curtains.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked with a curious smile on his face.

"Oh... nothing..." Remus said innocently as he pulled the curtains closed.

Peter sat down in the common room, sitting next to James and Lily on the couch in front of the fireplace, as he heard a strange groan coming from upstairs.

"What was that?" He asked fearfully, looking towards his friends.

Lily giggled before James elbowed her to be quiet, and turned comfortingly to the fourth Marauder, "I'm sure it's nothing Pete." He replied.

"I hope it's not more poltergeists floating around the dorms!" He said with horror.

"Oh yes," Lily muttered, grinning, "I'm sure that _must_ be it."

James laughed with her then, and Peter starred at them in confusion.

"Everyone's gone mad..." Peter said, which just caused James and Lily to laugh louder.

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**A/N: That's it. Finito. In a way, I'm glad it's over, because I like the end. But it's also sad... because I really liked writng this, and you all enjoyed it so much.**

**Also, if you enjoyed this fic, you might like my other fic 'Siriusly Misunderstood' which I will be updating shortly, and look out for my future fic which I have began writing, called 'Of Puppies and Love'!.**

**So, thank you to all of you who have been patient and waited for my updates, following the story with me all this time, and for reviewing!**

**You are all appreciated, and I thank you for reading.**

**-Emerald-**


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